Cercasi miliardario da sposare

09-10-2007

Spassosissimo intervento su Craiglist: cercasi uomo da sposare, che guadagni almeno 500.000 dollari all’anno!
La risposta che ha dato quel signore mi ha fatto sorridere, tanta saggezza e humour.

A proposito: se conoscete una ragazza giovane, mora (le bionde non le gradisco), attraente, affascinante, con classe, possibilmente benestante, intelligente e molto ironica… Allora vivete in un altro pianeta, e VI PREGO, ditemi come arrivare lì da voi, vengo anche con autostop galattico :-)

16 Responses to “Cercasi miliardario da sposare”

  1. Six Says:

    tranquillo che arriverà quando meno te l’aspetti :)


  2. Mi spiace, non ce l’ho: mi dispiace. Io, per trovarmi piazzato dopo l’inutile laurea (filosofia), ho mandato la mia ragazza a fare Scienze Politiche alla Luiss, così per portare la pagnotta a casa. Niente miliardarie, ma almeno si campa ;) .

  3. Lorenzo Allegrucci Says:

    “Chiedile se c’ha l’amica!”
    (cit. “Non ci resta che piangere”)

  4. Lore Says:

    La risposta è bellissima. :D

  5. psychomantum Says:

    ho la mia, e non la darei a nessuno :D

  6. BackInTime Says:

    Quoto psychomantum. Anche io ho la mia e me la tengo stretta :D

  7. ubuntista Says:

    ma guardali, ‘sti romanticoni!! :-P

  8. Six Says:

    hihi idem :)

  9. Aladark Says:

    Che mito xD

  10. Dave Says:

    la conosco!!!

    ma è solo un’ amica! :-(

  11. Attila Says:

    Il link mi da:
    “This posting has been flagged for removal”, so… qualcuno riassuma dato che pare abbia dato una risposta arguta ^.^”

  12. ubuntista Says:

    Che imbecilli… ora rimedio io:

    From new york craigslist…

    ===========
    Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful
    (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
    I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
    least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
    that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think
    I’m overreaching at all.

    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
    you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
    200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get
    me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
    to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as
    I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
    get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    – Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
    restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my
    feelings

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

    – Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
    side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have
    nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead
    gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story
    there?

    – Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment
    banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
    hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    – How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
    MARRIAGE ONLY

    Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest
    way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front
    about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t
    able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
    nice home and hearth.

    * it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
    other commercial interests

    **********

    PostingID: 432279810
    THE ANSWER
    Dear Pers-431649184:
    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
    about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
    Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
    bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I
    see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
    cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
    suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
    my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my
    money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely
    that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t
    be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
    asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
    accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty
    hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
    earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
    and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense
    to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case
    you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
    to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s
    as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
    I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
    as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
    believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
    hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
    we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
    Classic “pump and dump.”
    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
    lease, let me know.

    **********

    MY ADVICE:

    Dear Pers-431649184:

    Your also came across your posting with great interest. I am a 28 year old Wall Street trader who qualifies as an eligible suitor under your $500k/yr rule. In fact, I make over a million and can usher a woman into a comfortable, true middle class lifestyle (not like those 500k lower-middle class chumps who have to make do with the junior two-bedroom).

    I am sympathetic to your goal in finding a rich man to marry. The milk needs to be sold by the expiration date. But since this is premium milk, why would you settle for less than premium prices? I would like to address some of the questions that were previously missed by the other gentleman and provide constructive advice on where to find your match.

    I also do believe in the efficient market theory, and am surprised that $500k hasn’t found you yet. There are plenty of rich lawyers, investment bankers and hedgies to go around in this city. What gives? I think the problem might be that you have not been sufficiently focused in your search efforts.

    The culprit, I believe, may be that you are also looking for qualities aside from money – such as looks, personality, and a sense of humor. However, men who have those qualities learn at an early age that they do not need money to attract quality women. As the saying goes, if you can get the milk for free, why pay up for the cow?

    What you need to look for is someone who is long money, and short the other aspects. They are not easy to spot, since you are biologically wired to overlook and ignore them. However, the next time that you are at a expensive black tie event, and you are introduced to the short, bald, overweight man who fidgets nervously whilst making conversation with you, pay special attention to him.

    Here’s an inspirational story for you. An acquaintance of mine who was also an classy and articulate woman as yourself was able to land that guy – who also happens to be one of the top ten guys at Google. This is the type of stuff that gold-digging moms read to their gold-digging daughters at bedtime. Perhaps you need to make a location change to Silicon Valley – miracles like these happen almost everyday in a land where you can randomly throw a rock and hit a rich nerd squarely in his Kim-jong Il glasses.

    And as far as his deficiencies go, they turned out to be not so bad. With hundreds of millions in the bank, she’s been able to clean him up and give him a little sophistication. Think of it as a fixer-upper project with a massive budget (and yourself as a visionary real estate developer!). Although, I must warn you, it is a fine line you are flirting with – you must not overdo it lest he begins to attract younger women who are hotter than yourself. The trick is, you need build him up enough to be presentable, while simultaneously manipulate him into believing you are the best that he will ever do! That and having kids will be your insurance against your depreciation (or as I prefer to use the term, milk going sour).

    I wish the best of luck on your sales project. As for me, I am also available for a short-term lease. However, for marriage I wouldn’t consider a woman unless she can bring beauty, brains and self-motivation to the table. I do not want to dilute my gene pool and end up raising a bunch of Paris Hiltons.

    ==============

    Bottom line guys: don’t get married. Your worth only appreciates day by day while the attractiveness of gold diggers diminishes by a little bit each day. You only have a dried up harpy by the time she’s 50…why buy when you can rent??? Keep your life simple and your options open!!!!

  13. ViK Says:

    Ho cliccato sul link che suggerisci ma… “This posting has been flagged for removal”

  14. ViK Says:

    Oh scusa… non avevo letto i commenti, che stupido!

  15. zdnko Says:

    Vedi qui:
    http://www.slide-show.net/forum/download.php?id=1972

    Potrebbe andarti bene?

  16. Piplos Says:

    ROTFL… guarda caso ne conosco una io, è perfetta, bellissima, ma ha 2 difetti: è troppo giovane per te ed è fidanzata da 5 anni :D


I commenti sono chiusi.

%d blogger cliccano Mi Piace per questo: